But of course, this raises the ever-oppressive question "What would Martha Stewart do?". Martha Stewart would probably faint if she heard our ideas, that's what. We want a Tim Burton meets Vintage Gothic meets Death Metal meets Motorcycle Gang wedding. Lots of black, ravens, feathers, silver, lilies.... think of it. Weddings are "'til death do you part", so why not run with the theme?
That brings on another dilemma. This is a wedding, not a funeral. So as much as I love gory, scary, repulsive Halloween, I have to remember that my 84 year old Catholic grandmother probably does not share that passion. (My whole family thinks I'm strange anyway, but there's a fine line between 'strange' and 'scarily strange').
So after logging a billion hours of Googling and Pinteresting, I have come to the following (Martha Stewart-unapproved) conclusions about weddings (and staying within budget)-
- Weddings are expensive. But they're cheaper when you do what you want, rather than what other people want you to do. One example is a Church wedding. They are more expensive than a City Hall wedding. Everyone knows we've been living in sin anyway, so why shell out an extra $300+ to be reminded about that indiscretion?
- Weddings are easier to plan within a budget if you have always been a tomboy and never played wedding as a kid. I never fantasized about 'the perfect dress' or what kind of flowers I would have. Heck, I'm looking at floor-length dresses because I can hide my Doc Marten combat boots underneath. No other reason.
- The fact that I can make invitations, centerpieces, party favors, and all that crafty stuff is finally going to be helpful. Usually, it just creates a flurry of papers and glitter and accomplishes very little, but now I have an excuse "I'm making this for the wedding". Plus, I get to slap glitter and rhinestones on everything, and I just adore shiny things.
- Keep the peace. And work together. Hubby wants a top hat and spats. I am beyond tickled that he wants to dress like a Charles Dickens' character, but I think spats are a bit high-fallutin'. Ladies, take note... if Hubby wants to help plan the wedding, let him. It's his wedding, too. And unless the request is absolutely crazy ('I want to kill the Groomsmen and bury them in the yard'), go with it. The more I thought about it, spats are elegant, very Phantom Of The Opera. Also pleasantly surprised that he cared enough to think about what he wants, rather than making me plan every little detail.
- No matter how weird you think your wedding may be, there are odder ones out there. And they can be beautiful. One couple had their photos shot in a creepy old cemetery. Not my first choice of backdrop, but still one of the prettiest shoots I've seen.
- Have fun. On TV, these Bridezillas micromanage everything. When one little thing isn't 'perfect', these women have mental breakdowns. Guess what? Life isn't perfect. Just invite people you love, and have a big bash that allows you time to enjoy it. Nary a guest will notice that your roses aren't the exact shade of blush as your candles... but they will notice if you disappear to the washroom to cry for an hour over it.
- You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. There are some 'must-haves' and some 'sorta-wants'. I absolutely do not want cake smashed in my face. So, I'll put my foot down on the cake thing, but am willing to be flexible with everything else.